Spouse Witholding Sex from Me

[Sharronb]

I need prayer because my husband is witholding sex from me. I don't know if he is doing it on purpose or what, but I don't like it. It is a horrible feeling--to feel neglected. Although I am a new christian, I know that christian couples should not withhold sex from each other unless it is for an agreed upon short time. It is extremely hard for me to discount the strong feelings I have. I just want to have my needs met elsewhere, but I know that it is a sin to commit adultery. I am in a bind. Please pray for me. I am falling apart and almost giving up.

[Menazz]

my name is IK.4rm dsc congregation Nigeria.I read ur write up and i felt bad.I cant pass judgement on Him because i dont no Him.As christains,God has given us power to solve all problems.wit d knownledge I hav in God,I advise dat You treat Him like a King.dont pay evil4evil.You must bear alot of things as a christain.He has a conscience,wit time ,T He wil come to His real self.I will join You in prayers.

[SteveTheTiger]

Hi sharronb,

This is a very difficult situation. Men sometimes don't realise how much emotion is involved in sex, and need to listen to their wife and understand her feelings. Situations like this require a lot of patience, and a desire to continue to love your husband because thats what you committed to do before God, even if he fails to honour that committment.

My first recommendation would be to pray. Lift your concerns to God. Pray for your husbands heart to soften, for him to express his feelings and to listen to yours and realise how important this is to you. Please, don't lose your faith in God. He will be with you through this difficult time. Also, gently encourage your husband to talk about how he feels, and what he thinks about your marriage. Men can struggle to communicate their feelings, or may feel weak by expressing their fears or worries.

If you are unable to resolve this situation, consider marriage counselling. Even if your husband isn't willing to join, consider going yourself, to gain advice in how to respond and encourage your husband. Speak with the minister, or other married couples in your congregation and ask if they can recommend someone, or ask the person who performed your marriage ceremony. Consider a counsellor who neither of you know, as this may help each of you feel comfortable in expressing yourselves. Sometimes it can be awkward sharing intimate secrets with the preacher who you will see on Sunday at church.

I hope things improve and your marriage grows stronger. If I can assist you further, please let me know. God bless you both.

SteveTheTiger